Bonus chapter : Thanks for 1000 hits!

Dear all,

Thanks a lot for your support and this blog has reached 1000 views!

I am grateful for all the supports and more wonderful chapters are coming next. Stay tuned!

Chapter 13 : Why we choose to be nice to others?

~Being nice or being mean is just a matter of choosing.

Well, Mr B had a really bad day. His car stuck in the traffic jam for 2 hours. He yelled at a waiter whom spilled a cup of coffee on his shirt. He shouted at his wife for buying an expensive bag. He again shouted at his son for a bad score he got in the history exam.

So here he is, yell at me again ' How can I be nice when I had such a bad day?'

According to rule of attraction, positive attracts positive and so thus the opposites. When you are nice to others, other people will be nice to you too. Nobody wants to go to hospital and face a rude nurse. Nobody likes a rude policeman. No one likes to go to school and being treated badly by the teachers.

So be nice to others. A smile won't hurt anyone. A greeting won't kill someone. A heart warming speech is as much encouraging or even better than your rude sarcastic words.

Mouth can be evil and can be nice also. It is all depending on your choice. Even if you had a bad day, doesn't mean that other people had to be scolded by you. And of course you don't want to ruin your relationship, work or all other important things in your life just because of a bad day.

So even when you are in a bad mood. Just take a deep breath, relax, forget about the bad things temporarily, and smile. Yelling at others don't really relieve your stress, you can yell at the sea, or the sky or even a tree. But don't yell or shout at your love one. They have feelings, too. It is always the last and the least that you want to hurt them.

Key message : Remember - play nice!

Chapter 12 : Never give up, and enjoy the process

~ I don't know whether you can be successful or not, but I know that if you give up, you can never be successful.

How many of us try very hard however things just don't turn out as what we expected? We all experience failure at some moment at times. And sometimes the failure or mistake is just too overwhelming for us to take so we just choose to quit. But unfortunately, we forget how much effort we have put during the process, and we let the vulnerability temporary overtake us away. So when thing turn out as not what us expected, quit is just something look easy and tempting.

But is that so? When we look at other people success, do we have in mind that the person could be us. Or we just regret if we continue, we should be more successful by now. If we are tough, we should be able to make it.

Let's take a 10 km marathon as example. It sounds tough to some of us. So how we take it. Here is the thing, we don't see the challenge as a whole and big tough thing. It would be too hard to challenge and complete. But in the contrast, we break it small. We see it as 10 km. So we only look at the next 1 km in the next half an hour. And we feel happy every time we have finish 1 km. Then we move on to the next destination until we complete the 10 km. It makes the target simple, and we enjoy every time we make a little completion.

The same thing applies if you want to study some subjects. If we see the whole things of the subject, it will be too many and too tough. However if you break it to chapters, and make a goal that to complete one chapter a week, it will be look more easier. And make sure to reward yourself with a little piece of cheese cake or buy some thing you like and it will keep you motivated. Most important thing is to enjoy the process, don't think it is too difficult to accomplish.

Key message : Don't ever say give up, enjoy every moment of the hard work and finally enjoy the SUCCESS.

Chapter 11 : How to deal with losses?

~Let's minimize your loss.

A man who loves his wife so much. Unfortunately his wife died of motor vehicle accident. He lived in a miserable everyday. His friend wanted to cheer him out so he brought him for a tour.

When he reached a place. His friend bought him to a graveyard. Those graves were filled with all the smile and laughter. Then that widower was wondering, why those people were laughing? He looked at the graveyard. All the headstones were in funny shapes like bottles, animals, guitars and etc. He looked at the headstone, then he found some words written like 'I finally can rest, don't disturb me', 'I am sleeping next to my wife, only separated by a wall', and 'Cheers for long life but not for me' and even a baby's grave liked 'he had a look at the world, and decided not what he wanted, so he went back to the heaven.'

Then he realized how amazing people could deal with loss with humor. Finally he decided to live happily in the future and he did.

How many of us deal with losses? Almost everyone of us. We can't expect everything we want in our life to be what we expected. And often things turn out not the one we want. So how do we deal with it? We can't change the fact of the ending. We can't change the fact that our loved one leaving us. We can't change the fact that some of us living in poverty and disable.

But what we could change is the way of how we feel. We could accept of what we are. We could move on further and farther. We could be happy even when we are in poverty and disable. Because only if we are feeling better, then we are motivated. Only when we are motivated, then we could make a change. To a better life, to a better future.

I do know someone, who is borne with no hands and feet. But I think he could swim better than me, or maybe some of us. He could go bungee jump, parachuting. Or even marry to a lovely wife. Because he sets no limit. And because he feels happy.

Only when we feel better, then we can deal with our losses. Minimize it, digest it, and solve it perhaps. If we always don't change our feeling, always feels like why we are so unfortunate, why we always losing, why our love one leaving us. Then nothing could be done or changed.

Let's your doctor deal with your illness, the only thing you can do is be happy, takes medicine and have a good rest. Let's your accountant to deal with your financial constraint, if you have one, because you need to be happy and motivated to work. Your parents are aging and dying, but both of you share all those good memories and those happy memories are be with you forever and ever.

Do something that change your feeling, be motivated! Being a loser or in poverty doesn't stop you to be happy. Talk to someone that cheers you up, listen to some songs that make you happy, or reading some motivation book. Enjoy every moment of happy, because you deserve it!

Key message : Only when we feel better, then we could solve the difficult situation and to live in a better future.

Chapter 10 : To forgive, then move on.

~Forgive is a gift, to yourself.

A man comes to monk and asks, 'how do I be happy?' The monk points to a stone and asks the man to lift it.

The man lifts the stone. After 5 minutes, the man asks the monk, 'can I put down the stone?' Monk says not yet.
After 10 minutes, the man asks again and the monk still says no.
After 1 hour, the man feels the stone is very heavy and he feels very tired but the monk still refuses to let him put down the stone.
After 2 hours, just right before the man couldn't hold the stone anymore. The monk says, 'you may put down the stone now.'
Finally that man puts down the stone with relieve. So the monk asks him, 'do you feel happy?'
The man replies, 'yes, I am happy now.'

A lady came to the hospital and cries. She just swallowed 30 tablets of medicine in order to commit suicide. She just had another quarrel with her husband because her husband had an affair 2 years ago. She just couldn't let go. She feels it is so unfair for her. She was living in a miserable life for 2 years ever since the cheating. She had to see a psychiatrist for her depression and yet, she is still not happy. In fact, her husband had tried to make some amendment for her and he was never cheated on her again but she still refused to trust him and let go the issue. Because she feels if she let go and forgive her husband, then her husband will be free.

So what do these two stories implies? It is simple - to let go, then move on, you will find your own happiness.

That sounds so hard to certain people. Ya, that lady's husband might be a jerk and cheated on her. But why she had to live in a miserable life for 2 years. She did nothing wrong. Why should her punish herself instead of the husband? And definitely, suicide is a very stupid option to hurt your own body.

Sometimes we just have to let go. It is not for the other people who does something wrong. It is for our own self. It is for us to let go whatever happens in the past and to move on to our future. Because we deserve better life.

Remember, forgive is not for the person who had hurt you, it is for yourself. It is just because you let go, and you will see so many beautiful things in your life.

Key message : Learn to forgive yourself, spare yourself from the sin that other people did.

Chapter 9: Learn to give, and enjoy to give

~A person who loves to give is a happy person.

"I am poor, and I have nothing to give." Mr H said.
"Why I need to help other people, I am the one who needs help!" Ms B said.

Well, here is the thing. When we say giving, most of the time people refer to money. But in fact, money is not the only thing you can give, and not the only thing people need.

So what do people need, other than money? There are a lot - time, love, care, warm and encouraging word, a smile and many other thing.

Most of the time we didn't realize how rich we are. We have the ability to smile, we have the ability to give away our love, time, care and last but not least still - money.

Why do we have to give? Why do we have to give other people things, love, care or smile?

We often thought we are the one in need. We often thought other people owe us thing. We often thought we require more than other people do. But most of us don't realize it, we have so many good things to share with. Our love, our time, our smile, our encouraging speech, our consolation.

When we more focused on other peoples' need. When we care about other peoples' feeling. We become less selfish. We become less focus of how much we do the hard work more than other people do. We don't compare our miserable life with other people. We see other people who are in need and having difficulty also. And that makes you more happy. And that make you realize you are not the only one unfortunate. And that makes you share. And of course, sharing makes you HAPPY!

When we focus other people loss, we becomes less concern about our own loss. So this is the reason why people help other people are happy.

Key message : Helpful people are happy!

Chapter 8 : Find out what makes you happy

~make a list of your favourite things, and enjoy it.

Everyone of us has our own very preference. Some people love green. Some people love blue. Mr A likes Sunday. Mr B likes Tuesday. Little G likes his favourite friend Little J. Miss T like to spend time with her favourite party. Mr W likes to start his morning with a cup of coffee with 2 spoons of sugar and 1 sachet of creamer. Well, everyone of us has our very personal own preference. But how many of us keep a list? Why is it necessary to keep a list.

It is simple, because we want to be happy everyday. When we are upset or feeling down, we like to be surrounded by our very good friend, listening to our favourite song that cheers us. We like to share our little secret with our love one. We like to spend our times with our pretty little thing when we are upset of feeling down. It actually helps to reduce your pain and your sadness. It helps you to overcome whatever obstacles that you face. And it helps you to continue to face the challenge in the future and continue to find the thing you want and you like.

So let's grab a small note book, of course with your very personal favourite colour. Make it a little bit small in size and handy so you can bring all around. And list down your very personal preference things. Your favourite colours, your favourite clothes, your favourite song, your favourite people, your favourtie things and etcs. And of course, you can put pictures of your favourite things inside also. Whenever you feel upset or down, let's open this little book of favourite. And close your eyes, start to imagine that you are being surrounded by your favourite things. Imagination is very powerful, and it helps you to forget what is the thing that upset you. So the end of the day, you feel HAPPY.

Key message : Keep a little favourite book that cheers your day!