Bonus chapter : Thanks for 1000 hits!

Dear all,

Thanks a lot for your support and this blog has reached 1000 views!

I am grateful for all the supports and more wonderful chapters are coming next. Stay tuned!

Chapter 13 : Why we choose to be nice to others?

~Being nice or being mean is just a matter of choosing.

Well, Mr B had a really bad day. His car stuck in the traffic jam for 2 hours. He yelled at a waiter whom spilled a cup of coffee on his shirt. He shouted at his wife for buying an expensive bag. He again shouted at his son for a bad score he got in the history exam.

So here he is, yell at me again ' How can I be nice when I had such a bad day?'

According to rule of attraction, positive attracts positive and so thus the opposites. When you are nice to others, other people will be nice to you too. Nobody wants to go to hospital and face a rude nurse. Nobody likes a rude policeman. No one likes to go to school and being treated badly by the teachers.

So be nice to others. A smile won't hurt anyone. A greeting won't kill someone. A heart warming speech is as much encouraging or even better than your rude sarcastic words.

Mouth can be evil and can be nice also. It is all depending on your choice. Even if you had a bad day, doesn't mean that other people had to be scolded by you. And of course you don't want to ruin your relationship, work or all other important things in your life just because of a bad day.

So even when you are in a bad mood. Just take a deep breath, relax, forget about the bad things temporarily, and smile. Yelling at others don't really relieve your stress, you can yell at the sea, or the sky or even a tree. But don't yell or shout at your love one. They have feelings, too. It is always the last and the least that you want to hurt them.

Key message : Remember - play nice!

Chapter 12 : Never give up, and enjoy the process

~ I don't know whether you can be successful or not, but I know that if you give up, you can never be successful.

How many of us try very hard however things just don't turn out as what we expected? We all experience failure at some moment at times. And sometimes the failure or mistake is just too overwhelming for us to take so we just choose to quit. But unfortunately, we forget how much effort we have put during the process, and we let the vulnerability temporary overtake us away. So when thing turn out as not what us expected, quit is just something look easy and tempting.

But is that so? When we look at other people success, do we have in mind that the person could be us. Or we just regret if we continue, we should be more successful by now. If we are tough, we should be able to make it.

Let's take a 10 km marathon as example. It sounds tough to some of us. So how we take it. Here is the thing, we don't see the challenge as a whole and big tough thing. It would be too hard to challenge and complete. But in the contrast, we break it small. We see it as 10 km. So we only look at the next 1 km in the next half an hour. And we feel happy every time we have finish 1 km. Then we move on to the next destination until we complete the 10 km. It makes the target simple, and we enjoy every time we make a little completion.

The same thing applies if you want to study some subjects. If we see the whole things of the subject, it will be too many and too tough. However if you break it to chapters, and make a goal that to complete one chapter a week, it will be look more easier. And make sure to reward yourself with a little piece of cheese cake or buy some thing you like and it will keep you motivated. Most important thing is to enjoy the process, don't think it is too difficult to accomplish.

Key message : Don't ever say give up, enjoy every moment of the hard work and finally enjoy the SUCCESS.

Chapter 11 : How to deal with losses?

~Let's minimize your loss.

A man who loves his wife so much. Unfortunately his wife died of motor vehicle accident. He lived in a miserable everyday. His friend wanted to cheer him out so he brought him for a tour.

When he reached a place. His friend bought him to a graveyard. Those graves were filled with all the smile and laughter. Then that widower was wondering, why those people were laughing? He looked at the graveyard. All the headstones were in funny shapes like bottles, animals, guitars and etc. He looked at the headstone, then he found some words written like 'I finally can rest, don't disturb me', 'I am sleeping next to my wife, only separated by a wall', and 'Cheers for long life but not for me' and even a baby's grave liked 'he had a look at the world, and decided not what he wanted, so he went back to the heaven.'

Then he realized how amazing people could deal with loss with humor. Finally he decided to live happily in the future and he did.

How many of us deal with losses? Almost everyone of us. We can't expect everything we want in our life to be what we expected. And often things turn out not the one we want. So how do we deal with it? We can't change the fact of the ending. We can't change the fact that our loved one leaving us. We can't change the fact that some of us living in poverty and disable.

But what we could change is the way of how we feel. We could accept of what we are. We could move on further and farther. We could be happy even when we are in poverty and disable. Because only if we are feeling better, then we are motivated. Only when we are motivated, then we could make a change. To a better life, to a better future.

I do know someone, who is borne with no hands and feet. But I think he could swim better than me, or maybe some of us. He could go bungee jump, parachuting. Or even marry to a lovely wife. Because he sets no limit. And because he feels happy.

Only when we feel better, then we can deal with our losses. Minimize it, digest it, and solve it perhaps. If we always don't change our feeling, always feels like why we are so unfortunate, why we always losing, why our love one leaving us. Then nothing could be done or changed.

Let's your doctor deal with your illness, the only thing you can do is be happy, takes medicine and have a good rest. Let's your accountant to deal with your financial constraint, if you have one, because you need to be happy and motivated to work. Your parents are aging and dying, but both of you share all those good memories and those happy memories are be with you forever and ever.

Do something that change your feeling, be motivated! Being a loser or in poverty doesn't stop you to be happy. Talk to someone that cheers you up, listen to some songs that make you happy, or reading some motivation book. Enjoy every moment of happy, because you deserve it!

Key message : Only when we feel better, then we could solve the difficult situation and to live in a better future.

Chapter 10 : To forgive, then move on.

~Forgive is a gift, to yourself.

A man comes to monk and asks, 'how do I be happy?' The monk points to a stone and asks the man to lift it.

The man lifts the stone. After 5 minutes, the man asks the monk, 'can I put down the stone?' Monk says not yet.
After 10 minutes, the man asks again and the monk still says no.
After 1 hour, the man feels the stone is very heavy and he feels very tired but the monk still refuses to let him put down the stone.
After 2 hours, just right before the man couldn't hold the stone anymore. The monk says, 'you may put down the stone now.'
Finally that man puts down the stone with relieve. So the monk asks him, 'do you feel happy?'
The man replies, 'yes, I am happy now.'

A lady came to the hospital and cries. She just swallowed 30 tablets of medicine in order to commit suicide. She just had another quarrel with her husband because her husband had an affair 2 years ago. She just couldn't let go. She feels it is so unfair for her. She was living in a miserable life for 2 years ever since the cheating. She had to see a psychiatrist for her depression and yet, she is still not happy. In fact, her husband had tried to make some amendment for her and he was never cheated on her again but she still refused to trust him and let go the issue. Because she feels if she let go and forgive her husband, then her husband will be free.

So what do these two stories implies? It is simple - to let go, then move on, you will find your own happiness.

That sounds so hard to certain people. Ya, that lady's husband might be a jerk and cheated on her. But why she had to live in a miserable life for 2 years. She did nothing wrong. Why should her punish herself instead of the husband? And definitely, suicide is a very stupid option to hurt your own body.

Sometimes we just have to let go. It is not for the other people who does something wrong. It is for our own self. It is for us to let go whatever happens in the past and to move on to our future. Because we deserve better life.

Remember, forgive is not for the person who had hurt you, it is for yourself. It is just because you let go, and you will see so many beautiful things in your life.

Key message : Learn to forgive yourself, spare yourself from the sin that other people did.

Chapter 9: Learn to give, and enjoy to give

~A person who loves to give is a happy person.

"I am poor, and I have nothing to give." Mr H said.
"Why I need to help other people, I am the one who needs help!" Ms B said.

Well, here is the thing. When we say giving, most of the time people refer to money. But in fact, money is not the only thing you can give, and not the only thing people need.

So what do people need, other than money? There are a lot - time, love, care, warm and encouraging word, a smile and many other thing.

Most of the time we didn't realize how rich we are. We have the ability to smile, we have the ability to give away our love, time, care and last but not least still - money.

Why do we have to give? Why do we have to give other people things, love, care or smile?

We often thought we are the one in need. We often thought other people owe us thing. We often thought we require more than other people do. But most of us don't realize it, we have so many good things to share with. Our love, our time, our smile, our encouraging speech, our consolation.

When we more focused on other peoples' need. When we care about other peoples' feeling. We become less selfish. We become less focus of how much we do the hard work more than other people do. We don't compare our miserable life with other people. We see other people who are in need and having difficulty also. And that makes you more happy. And that make you realize you are not the only one unfortunate. And that makes you share. And of course, sharing makes you HAPPY!

When we focus other people loss, we becomes less concern about our own loss. So this is the reason why people help other people are happy.

Key message : Helpful people are happy!

Chapter 8 : Find out what makes you happy

~make a list of your favourite things, and enjoy it.

Everyone of us has our own very preference. Some people love green. Some people love blue. Mr A likes Sunday. Mr B likes Tuesday. Little G likes his favourite friend Little J. Miss T like to spend time with her favourite party. Mr W likes to start his morning with a cup of coffee with 2 spoons of sugar and 1 sachet of creamer. Well, everyone of us has our very personal own preference. But how many of us keep a list? Why is it necessary to keep a list.

It is simple, because we want to be happy everyday. When we are upset or feeling down, we like to be surrounded by our very good friend, listening to our favourite song that cheers us. We like to share our little secret with our love one. We like to spend our times with our pretty little thing when we are upset of feeling down. It actually helps to reduce your pain and your sadness. It helps you to overcome whatever obstacles that you face. And it helps you to continue to face the challenge in the future and continue to find the thing you want and you like.

So let's grab a small note book, of course with your very personal favourite colour. Make it a little bit small in size and handy so you can bring all around. And list down your very personal preference things. Your favourite colours, your favourite clothes, your favourite song, your favourite people, your favourtie things and etcs. And of course, you can put pictures of your favourite things inside also. Whenever you feel upset or down, let's open this little book of favourite. And close your eyes, start to imagine that you are being surrounded by your favourite things. Imagination is very powerful, and it helps you to forget what is the thing that upset you. So the end of the day, you feel HAPPY.

Key message : Keep a little favourite book that cheers your day!

Chapter 7 : Establish healthy leisure time and hobbies

~ Part of the investment of yourself is, fill up your past times with healthy leisure activities

Why we need healthy hobbies or part time? Well, alcohol and drug do help people to forget about terrible things in their life. However when the effect gone, you face with terrible hangover, dependence, and of course your nightmare - an unhealthy body. And how do you stay happy with an unhealthy body?

We need a healthy body and soul to stay happy. We need a healthy leisure times to keep us to be healthy, in both body and soul. And of course, you will get more with your hobbies.

Let start with simple things like reading. Well, words say it all. Reading increases your wisdom. Reading fiction increases your creativity. Reading romance is enjoyable. Reading thriller is exciting. Reading detective stories helps you to think and prevent you to get dementia.... Oops, I have gone a bit too far. Anyway, reading non fiction book also help to expand your scope of your life. It might be some things financial, spiritual, or historical. Reading a good book really helps you a lot and be inspiring! And research shows most of the successful people like to read and love to read.

Well, next thing is exercise. I know what you will say, it is too tiring, I don't have time. But do see the fact, exercise makes human body release endorphin, that is the natural hormone that makes you happy. So how about a five minutes walk to the nearby garden. Of course you can go with your partner and share about your wonderful day. And sweating just too  good to eliminate whatever waste products that retain in your body. Of course don't forget to drink plenty of water.

There are plenty more healthy leisure activities like drawing, cycling, dancing and ... etc. I am pretty sure you will be able to find your own healthy hobbies rather than drug, smoking and alcohol. And it is helping you to relieve your stress as well. Remember healthy hobbies makes healthy body, healthy body makes healthy and happy soul. Enjoy your life, it should be WONDERFUL!

Key message : Find your own healthy hobbies, eliminate all the bad habits in your life.

Chapter 6 : Law of attraction - Positive attracts positive

~ Only good things are being attracted by good things.

See what happened on Miss A.

She had a boyfriend since she was in secondary school. They promised to each other once they graduated from high then they will get married. Their plan got changed as the boy got offered and went abroad to study in university. In which Miss A stayed at her own country.

Miss A had to support her boyfriend at overseas. So Miss A had to work three jobs a day in order to pay the boy's education fee at oversee. Sometimes she ate only once a day. If people asked her she just smiled and said she was not hungry.

After few years, her boyfriend graduated and came back. Initially they tried to be with together. Their relationship did not work out as the boy got a good job and he met other girls who is pretty and educated. As compared Miss A is only a high school graduate and only got a low paid job.

Of course some of you would said that boy is a jerk and shouldn't dump her. However, look at this story at another point. Instead of investing on someone else, why don't her invest on herself instead? If she is further continue her study in local, or actually just learning something new. Would the ending of the story change?

Love yourself before you love other people. Only good feeling attracts good things, only when you are nice, polite then only people will treat you like that. In this world the most valuable thing and need to be invested is YOU. So be good, let's fill up yourself with all the good and positive thinking. Be nice to other people. Then you will get more.

If yourself is not good, how do you expect other people will love you? If you are not even loving yourself. How do you expect the person you love to love you? Cinderella was pretty and nice so the prince fell in love with her. There must be some positive points in you so you can attract all the nice thing in your life. As well as happiness.

Key message : Be positive, you will attract nice thing to your life.

Chapter 5 : Be grateful for everything

~ Thanks to every nice thing in your life...

How many of us are being grateful to be stay alive and well for everyday?

C, a nine year boy, who suffering from leukemia. In stead of being sad for everyday, or keeps crying. He just being thankful for everyday he got. He still able to breath normally. He still able to walk and play with his little sister. He is happier than most of the healthy adults. 

Do you see the power of being grateful? It makes you address the most beautiful things and nice things in your life. It makes you appreciate the sky is blue, the breeze of the wind, the aromatic smell of the coffee. It makes you to ignore whatever pain, losses or those unwanted feelings. 

How many of us says thank you for our parent? Do you see the wrinkles have climb up to their faces? Do you see how many white hairs they got? How many of us really enjoy the time of being accompanied by our parents? But instead of that, do you just shout at them when they nagging to you over and over again? Says the magic words - thanks for nice breakfast, thanks for their concerns, thanks for their care, and of course -thanks for their unconditioned love. 

I have seen many unhappy couples. They complained about each other so much. As if every single things of the partner that irritates them. But instead, do you reinforce the GOOD part of them? Do you PRAISE them when they do things right? Do you say THANK YOU for your wife of doing a good job of cooking a wonderful dinner? Do you say THANK YOU to your husband that working so hard outside and endure his irritating boss. Sometimes it is all just takes a little change can make such a big difference. 

Say thank you to your colleague. Say thank you to your clients. Say thank you to everyone you know that treats you well. And of course, you will get more than what you expected. 

Wake up and say it out, thanks for let me to have such a WONDERFUL day! 

It is all about the magic word - just say it!

Key message : Say thank you to those wonderful thing in your life!

Chapter 4 : Set your happy goal

~Make your happy simple and achievable.

Set a happy goal? Yes, set a happy goal. Just like you set goal for your study, for your finance, for your success, as well as for every other thing. Set a happy goal for everyday.

How to do it? Let's see.... I will be happy if I enjoy a hot coffee in the morning. It is simple, hot and delicious and easy to apply.

Really, it is so easy to achieve. Don't set your goal like I will be happy if I settle my car loan or thing like I will be happy if my children go into college. Absolutely not! Happy should be an everyday thing. Happy should be at every moment. At today, not tomorrow, next month or next 10 years!

Why you make your happy to be so difficult? It should be easy, simple and ready for access on every moment. Why set yourself in a difficult and sad situation rather than enjoy the moment?

Most people will say I will be happy tomorrow or tomorrow will be a better day. My point is - if happy is good thing, why wait? You should be happy at TODAY, not an unknown tomorrow. And make every tomorrow happy if you can!

Why today? If you had a chance to drive a Ferrari today, why wait? As well as if you deserve to be happy, why wait? Since happy is such a good thing to enjoy in life, is there any reason to wait? Everyone of us deserve to be happy.

You could enjoy the morning coffee. You could enjoy the nice breakfast. You could watch a comedy. You could play with children for some stupid little game and laugh non stop. See that, it is so simple and so easy!

So now, grab a diary and set a happy goal for the day. Make it simple like listen to a nice song or go for a walk and enjoy the breeze. Do you see the point? Yes, happy is that simple.

Key massage : make a happy goal everyday and enjoy happy at every moment.

Chapter 3 Selection bias

~Happy people seeing happy things, sad people seeing sad things.

Someone filled up a glass with half glass of water. So Mr B said he saw it half empty. Mrs D said she saw half glass of water.

What does it imply? In an exact same situation, pessimistic people seeing bad things, outcome, catastrophes. In which optimistic people seeing good things, happiness, hopes.

Why do that happen? Is it because pessimistic people are not smart? Not, it is only because their brain are designed that way. If they see thing happens, they already foreseen the negative outcomes. For examples, Mr P expected to see bills in his pox box everyday, then it is there everyday. He also expected quarrel with his wife, then he will end up with a quarrel with his wife. He expected to be sacked from his job, then that is what he got.

Do you see the point, your negative thinking leading to negative outcome. It is because our thinking is so fast, it is so fast that we anticipate thing with all the bad experiences that we got. We couldn't help it because the bad experiences is so painful and often difficult to be forget.

So how to change it, why don't we see the alternative of the things? There is half cup full of water. There is a wife that prepares Mr Z's breakfast everyday. Mr Z still has his job that pays the rent. Mr Z still able to walk. Mr Z still able to drive. Mr Z still able to think. .... blah blah blah lots more.

Yes, it is so many things that Mr Z still got in his life, but unfortunately he did not see that. He only focused on his failure, unhappy marriage, past bad experiences that haunt him.

It is time to let the past be the past. And time to move on to a brighter future. If you are given the right to choose, why don't you choose to be HAPPY?

People said it is so tough to be happy because so many bad things happen. But where are the good thing that happen in the past? Did you forget about it ? Yes , we all do. Often when we are down and upset, we are focus only on the bad things and forget to look at the bright side.

So how to overcome it? I suggest we prepare thing that reminds our happy moment, make it accessible all the time. It could be a photo of last time travel, it could be a comic book that make you laugh, it could be some motivation books, it could be anything that make you happy.

Whenever you feel sad or down, tell yourself that stop thinking about the thing that makes you sad or down. It is not helping with your situation. But instead, look at the photo, listen to some songs take make you happy, go for a walk. Distract yourself from being sad or down.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jlI4uzZGjU

Key message : Focus on what you GOT, not what you lost!

Chapter 2 : Rule to be happy

~If you set yourself to be not happy, why don't you set yourself to be happy instead.

We make so many choices in our life everyday. We choose which movie to watch. We choose which clothes to wear. We choose where to eat for lunch. But do you realize YOU are choosing to be happy or not to be happy?

Yes, it is your choice! Whether you want to be happy or not. It is up to you.

It is not something new, it is the rule that everyone know. But how many of us really realize and practice it?

Let see what happen in a day of Mr Z.

Mr Z wakes up and sigh, "It is going to be a tough day again." His wife nags at him and says that the bills are piling up. After that Mr Z drives and stuck in the traffic for 2 hours before reaches his office. He gets scolding by his boss because he comes late and he forgets to pass up meeting report yesterday. He dozes off during meeting and spilled his coffee on the important document. After extra 2 hours of overtime without getting any extra paid, Mr Z stuck in the traffic for another 2 hours. He comes back home and scolds his son for the bad score he got in mathematics exam. Then his wife nags at him again for the family next door went vacation in Hawaii again. Then he goes into sleep at 4 am with tiredness and all the stress.

So what do you think about Mr Z's day. Sounds depressing? But million of us living in this way without even realizing it. And we just go through our bad daily routine again and again. So the end of the day Mr Z filing a divorce with his wife as he finds out his wife cheating on him. And his son ends up in jail due to selling drug. Oh no, definitely not a good ending in the bibliography of life to write isn't it?

How about look at another version of story -

Mr Z wakes up and says to himself - it is going be wonderful day for me. He kisses his wife for the best omelet in the world in which he got for breakfast the day. He goes to work and enjoys of listening to his favorite songs. His boss just calls him in and tells him how good his performance yesterday during the meeting and very high chance he will get his promotion next month. He finishes his work on time and leaves the office  to avoid the traffic jam during 7 pm. He reaches home and play football with his cute son. After dinner Mr Z and his family go to watch a movie. And Mr Z sleeps with a smile in his face and hugs his wife.

So how is the ending for Mr Z now. He is retired at age of 45 year old and enjoys of vacation with his family at Hawaii. Totally different!

What is the moral of the story then. It is simple - If you want to start your day, start to be HAPPY! And happiness leads to happiness, tragedy leads to tragedy. It is a law and often unavoidable.

So if you got the right to choose, why don't you choose to be happy? It is your day, nobody can decide for you, only you can decide your day. And you deserve to be HAPPY!

Key message : If you want to start your day, start to be HAPPY!

Chapter 1 : Introduction of Happy Book

"Why I need people to teach me how to be happy? Happy is just too easy !" from Mr A.

"I just couldn't be happy, there are so many stressful things in my life!" Mdm. E said.

Is that sounds familiar? Do you hear it everyday?

I always think of want to write a book. A book of I want to share with all people I know, might be some fiction, novel or poem. Finally I decided to write a book that teach people how to be happy.

Why? Because if there is something I want to share with everyone I know, it is about to be happy.

Why happy? There are so many other things to share with. But I decided to share happy. It is because Happy is F. O. C. (FREE of charge)!!!

Ooops! How many of us realized most of the wonderful things in our life are F. O. C.? Your friend are F. O. C.  your parent is F. O. C.,  your healthy body is F. O. C. (term and condition apply :)), and utmost important happy is F. O. C.!

So let see how many people in this world are NOT happy. World Health Organization (WHO) states there are 350 million people in this world suffered from depression. And there are 3.7 % of US people suffered from depression. How about others who doesn't even seek help? They are even in denial that they are NOT happy.

"Why is it so hard to be happy?" Mr H said.

" I got a house loan, I got car loan, I got bills to pay. My job sucks! How can I be happy?" Miss L said.

So what are the most important thing that STOP us to be happy? Not car loan, not bill, not your stupid irritating boss. Said it loud, It is YOU!

Yes, it is you to decide whether you are happy or sad. Many people didn't realize it. It is not boss or electricity company people or alien that decide your feeling. It is YOU whom decide your feeling.

"But I got so many bills, I got children to be fed. How can I be happy?" Mr G said.

This is the thing that most people do, we set boundaries to STOP us to be happy.

Really? We set our own boundaries that STOP ourselves to be happy. It seemed stupid. But most of us still doing it, everyday, every minute, and carry on our PAINFUL life.

So the first rule in this happy book is, STOP setting boundaries that stop you to be happy!

"How to do it?" Mdm T asked.

Well, we will come to that later. But before that, look at the cute babies. We all come to this world with crying. Later in about 6 weeks of life, we learn to laugh and to be HAPPY. Yes, happy is the skill that we learn. Often we lost the skill while we grow up. So learn the skill again and most important - <TO BE HAPPY AGAIN>

Key messages : Happy is a skill, learn it and practice it!

Happy book Prelude

Firstly want to thank my parent to give me life to enjoy this happy life.

Second thanks for my good eye sight so I can see beautiful things in this world.

Third thanks for I still breath normally and smoothly without depending on any ventilating machine.

Forth thanks I can still drive today.

Fifth thanks to all my friends, family who taught me how to be happy and I will like to share with them in this BLOG BOOK.

And lots more of thanks ......if you reading this BLOG BOOK.

By the way, please forgive my grammar as English is not my mother tongue, I am still learning it.

 Happy Vic